More Than a Memory
by Beckett Towns
Summary: It's when you're dialing 6 numbers just to hang up the phone, driving across town just to see if she's home, waking a friend in the dead of night just to hear him say it's gonna be alright.  One-shot


_**The song, More Than a Memory belongs to the amazing Garth Brooks. **_

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><p><em><strong>People say she's only in my head<strong>_

_**It's gonna take time but I'll forget**_

_**They say I need to get on with my life**_

_**They don't realize…**_

He still couldn't believe Kate had broken up with him. The people around him, the people he loved, didn't understand just how much it had hurt him. They told him that he needed to get out of the apartment; that he needed to have some fun again. They told him she was only in his head. They didn't get it.

It's when you're dialing 6 numbers just to hang up the phone

Driving across town just to see if she's home

_**Waking a friend in the dead of night**_

_**Just to hear him say it's gonna be alright**_

_**When you're finding things to do not fall asleep**_

_**Cause know she will be there in your dreams**_

_**That's when she's more than a memory**_

He put his phone down again. It wouldn't be right to call her. She had told him not to. So instead, he grabbed his car keys and headed out the door.

Halfway there, he thought maybe this was a bad idea. She had also told him not to come to her apartment again. But he was really only going to drive past, just to see if her car was there. It wasn't.

He called a random number in his phone, and he wasn't sure if he was relieved or upset that it was Ryan.

"Dude, you need to stop calling me so late. I need sleep." Ryan said without greeting.

"Her car's not at her apartment. Do you know where she is?" He wasn't sure why he wanted to know, he just did. Ryan didn't have to ask who he was talking about.

"She has a new boyfriend, maybe she's there." Ryan told him, sounding slightly annoyed, "I don't know. She might've gone to her dad's. Don't follow her. It's going to be ok. I'm going back to sleep now." He heard the call end, and threw his phone into the passenger seat and started home.

A few minutes later, he decided against going home. He wasn't going to sleep anyway. He couldn't sleep. He knew she would appear in his dreams, and he couldn't deal with that right now.

He didn't even know where he was going, he just drove. He knew that if he drove, he could keep himself awake.

_**Took a match to everything she ever wrote**_

_**Watched her words go up in smoke**_

_**Tore all her pictures off the wall**_

_**That ain't helping me at all**_

He had had little notes and letters from her scattered around his apartment, but he found that just looking at her handwriting, at the words she wrote pained him. He had gathered them all up, drove out of the city, and burned them. When he had gotten home, he had taken all the pictures of her off the walls, but now the walls seemed too empty. They seemed like they were taunting him.

_**Cause when you're talking out loud but nobody's there**_

_**You look like hell and you just don't care**_

_**Drinking more than you ever drank**_

_**Sinking down lower than you ever sank**_

_**When you find yourself falling down upon your knees**_

_**Praying to god, begging him "please"**_

_**That's when she's more than a memory**_

Eventually he parked the car on a random street, grabbed a bottle of whiskey from the glove compartment and started walking. The fresh air would help to keep him awake, as would the exercise.

He noticed the few people he saw staring at him, but he really didn't care. He knew he probably looked awful. He hadn't showered in days, and he was pretty sure he had been wearing the same clothes for at least two days.

He was also certain that he smelled like alcohol. He drank the last of the whiskey and threw the bottle at the side of a brick building, causing the glass to shatter.

He leaned against the wall, facing it, with his hand supporting his weight. He shook his head. He had never been very religious, but in that moment, he found himself praying for mercy.

_**She's more**_

_**She's more**_

"Josh?" He heard her voice. It wasn't the first time since their break up that he's thought he'd heard it. "Josh?" It sounded clearer than it ever has before. He felt a hand on his arm and nearly jumped out of his skin. He looked around, and that's when he saw her. She was really right next to him, with a look of worry on her beautiful face.

"Kate." His voice sounded strange to him. "What are you doing here?"

"This is Rick's building," she said, vaguely pointing toward the door. "Why are you here?"

Right. Rick. Her new boyfriend, the writer. Josh couldn't miss the way she felt about the writer. Just the way she said his name told him all he needed to know. She was in love, and not with him.

"I was just… going for a walk." He attempted a smile, but it felt strange and foreign to him.

"Ok," she said, staring to back away. "Well, have a nice walk." She disappeared then, into her car, and out of his life again. He tried to be happy for her. She was obviously very happy with the writer.

_**People say she's only in my head**_

_**It's gonna take time but I'll forget...**_

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><p><em><strong>:)<strong>_

_**You can follow me on Twitter, Country_Girl32**_

_**Also, reviews would be great!**_


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